Look What I Did At School Today, Mommy!

I'm out of material--except for more pictures of my Carson. I love those, but for a change, I decided to post this incredible assignment my brother Cory completed for his English 121 class at New Mexico Institute of Mining and Technology. The assignment was to create a sentence using One Thousand Words--without letting it become a run-on. It's long, but stick with it. It's worth it. Enjoy!

"One of the more clever and unusual things about my rather peculiar sense of humor is that in the majority of cases, nothing that I say actually means anything at all, but in a purposeful sense since I find humor in things that are not logical or rational, it really only makes sense for me to try and create humor by doing or saying things that also make no sense whatsoever; things that for all intents and purposes just should not be part of whatever situation that I may find myself to be in or be witnessing, especially when the particular situation happens to already be something that has the inherent potential to be seen as odd, unusual, and funny – maybe even something along the lines of writing a sentence that has to be a great deal longer than any sentence needs to be, or even has the right to be; a sentence that has so many conjoining parts of speech awkwardly linked together that it would undoubtedly cause anyone short of a veteran opera singer or one of those crazy musicians that are capable of going on and on and on to collapse from asphyxiation of the brain due to the rather obvious fact that all of the air that would otherwise be sent through the lungs in the natural process of breathing is, instead, being collected and carefully expelled in an attempt to actually complete the sentence in one breath, especially considering the fact that it is a natural tendency of a person, and people in general, to associate a breath as the end of a complete thought more so then a necessary pause only made necessary because, at this point, you’re only just shy of having completed three-tenths of this truly remarkable, unusual, and originally rather annoying and frivolous one-thousand word sentence that, while originally the subject of a great deal of confusion and comparable amounts of disdain, is now actually rather amusing and quite interesting, given the fact that you are forced to think in a different and rather unconventional manner to try and keep your thought rolling for a sufficient amount of time as to actually manage to get one thousand bloody words into a single sentence without creating a run-on, as well as not resorting to repeating yourself an exorbitantly excessive number of times, AND keeping your topic current, which, in all honesty, is rather difficult considering that most ideas fall considerably short of one thousand words, not to mention that most ideas are composed of several sentences, which, if I were do here, would completely void the purpose and intent of the one thousand word sentence assignment, but, alas, I digress, and, in case you have forgotten – and I certainly would not blame you for doing so, I believe that my original point at roughly the three-tenths mark was something about a single sentence this long being far too much for anyone that is not trained in the art of not having to breathe, or possibly capable of breathing via osmosis, to handle without possibly dying or at least suffering extensive brain damage merely from the amount of time one would go about not breathing in order to complete a single coherent thought, like I hope this one still is, in a single breathe for the reasons that I stated earlier, and it should not come as a surprise to any of you that in the case of my possibly having to read, or attempt to read, this unusually prolonged thought – and, interestingly enough, the particular definition of ‘prolonged’ in this case, as I found out in my desperate attempt to find another word for ‘lengthy,’ is “extending tediously beyond a standard duration” – in person, which at this point, I would not be entirely opposed to, as I am quite enjoying the amount of, pardon my language, bull crap that I’m being allowed to pull to actually complete the assignment, that I am in no way capable of completing this single thought without requiring a host of necessary, but otherwise completely, in a more or less grammatical sense, out of place breaths throughout the course of my reciting this incredibly, ridiculously, and totally unjustifiably massive sentence that still requires another three hundred word to be considered completely completed, and will probably also require me to either sneak a different topic into the thought altogether, or possibly even start repeating myself in such a manner that you can’t actually tell that I am repeating myself, which, at this point, does not seem to me to be a very difficult action to take, in light of the fact that you all have undoubtedly long since stopped paying attention to what I am saying because it seems, at least from the perspective of myself in writing this, that I will have been talking for a good five minutes on the same sentence with no breaks to speak of, on topics that would otherwise be completely unimportant and probably never considered, since most of the topics that I have covered and will probably continue to cover would not be brought up in normal conversation in which sentences are probably no longer than ten words and usually consist of at least a couple of distinct and undeniably individual sentence structures that are not expected or required to last, like this one, for yet another one hundred or so words, assuming, of course, that you are not like I tend to be, and I am quite serious, rather boring with very little to say overall except in the instances where there is an abnormally common trait between myself and someone else, which is an unfortunately rare occurrence, but also completely beside the point, which, if you were paying attention, you’ll also notice that I have completely strayed from in an effort to keep this a one sentence thought that should not fall under the category of a run on sentence, even though one would surely expect a sentence of such tediously prolonged duration to fall, without question, under said category and be banished to the realm of nonsensical wrongness – a.k.a., the trash can - immediately and without a second thought, from coming to an unfortunate end even though I would have been so close to the quota of one thousand words that, surprisingly enough, originally began as a breakdown of my peculiar sense of humor that very few people seems to get, but I’m sure that you have some idea of how to relate to it now, since this nonsensical thought, in essence, completely describes the manner in which my brain works in that respect, seeing as I was actually (hopefully) successful at completing the assignment after spending far too long compiling a grand total of one thousand one hundred and forty words into this blasted sentence!"